PARENTING THE HARSH WAY? IT SURE HAS TERRIBLE CONSEQUENCE

Yes. Agreed you love your child and want the best for him or her. And because you love your kid so much and you are determined to successfully mould the child into a responsible and exemplary adult. You have employed a somewhat questionable and hard stance method to instill discipline into your bundle of joy. Of course, the reality is that you are 100% bound to fail than you are 30% ever going to succeed. You are bound to fail because military approach to handling a child's irresponsibility is not and will never produce positive result. Some parent do not know when a child is willfully defiant or childishly making mistakes. When you follow a child's clumsiness with harsh reproach like hitting, slapping, swearing, shouting and insulting instead of patience and understanding that is expected, the end result is a bruised mind and an altered personality. A child who has suffered unpleasant and traumatic parenting, in their bid to overcome the long-journeyed nightmare in early adulthood tend to be fiercely hateful toward their parent knowing fully well they never got adequate love and understanding they longed for from their parent. I assure you don't want to incur the wrath and loathing of a teenager.

Parents should exercise a lot; a really mean A LOT OF and overflowing restrain, patience, gentleness, and understanding. Sometimes you need to as the good parent you are, repeat an instruction and correction severally before they register in a child's brain. When you are patient and understanding, then it is not difficult anymore to handle a child's shortcomings. Current trend shows they need lots of love for them to get there, not lots of love to spoil them. You can set disciplinary measures to draw the line between wrong and right but don't be extreme and over zealous in enforcing your punishment. Investigate first to know why he or she has committed a certain wrongdoing. While some parents are too quick to conclude and cannot restrain to hit, spank or shout insults in their bid to aright their ward. Others loves to make a show of their insane disciplinary methods, especially in the presence of an audience (this may be a friend or even the child's friend). A certain Mrs. Obiora is an example of how unimaginable some parent can be. To her daughter Jane, it's a constant battle ground, sometimes unpleasant. On this particular day, Jane had attended a debate. Her mother who had visited the salon, picked up Jane after the event with a friend from the salon. While in the car, Mrs. Obiora had asked her daughter about the debate and what she had learnt. Jane being the slow type, stammered and cowered to herself and the mother, never failing on her part, got irritated, angry and started hauling missiles of verbal insults at the helpless girl…….You dumb, useless, good-for-nothing child. She started……wasting my time and money sending you to school and what do I get?..... Stupid and empty head that cannot answer simple question. She flared and raved. Mothers are supposed to be sweeter and gentler more than fathers. I can't just understand how some mother could be so mean.

Think of the damage. The traumatic torture and personality alteration which is not supposed to be. Not being able to stand and speak up for themselves. Self-esteem diminished and destroyed. Lacking confidence to freely assert or express their minds. Inferiority complex superimposed. Always in the background and scared of the world. These are the terrible predicament that could befall to a child when parent take the hard way to teach and train a child. Of the worst thing you could do to a child is to crush his or her spirit and self-worth. Discipline does not necessarily mean the use of harsh words, humiliation and corporal punishment. Harsh words like "Useless and stupid!" or "Dumb head, can't make straight As like the Scot's kid!" or "You never do anything correctly" are totally uncalled for. If a child is slow and does lots of mistake, it is the duty of the parent to encourage and help such a child to overcome the challenges before them. If discipline or hard measures must be applied in bringing up a child, it should be handled with subtleness and wisdom - scolding with one hand, soothing and encouraging a lot with the other. Love, patience and understanding must be greater than your correcting tactic and if not, of what essence are you called parents. What then is the essence of saying you love your kid and want the best for him or her and yet the child cannot hold his shoulder straight, head up high in your presence or anyone else and express healthy polite assertiveness and other vital social skill, an important learned behavior to interact positively within and outside the immediate environment.